Post by Jacquie on Sept 21, 2005 23:51:47 GMT -5
Hope
Disclaimer: I don’t own Fruits Basket.
A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to soccerchic19588 for ongoing support and friendship for/with me and her birthday! I hope you like it Bev! Oh and for the record Akito is a guy in this one. He is male. I know in the manga it eventually turns out that he’s female but for this one-shot he is a guy. Just thought I’d make that clear to everyone. I don’t write yaoi or yuri or shonen-ai or whatever it’s called now.
*&*&*&*&*&*
“Alright, I think we should have you moved in by Sunday, Sohma-san.” The head mover told you tipping his hat as you smiled and thanked him. Walking forward, you transported yourself back to your red car and sighed lowly to yourself as you put the key into the ignition. Being fresh out of high school at age eighteen and job hunting to pay for university wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. You had finally raised enough money to buy a small apartment a few kilometers from the main Sohma house. So now the movers were trying to figure out how to get all of your stuff to fit into the house…maybe I should have considered a garage sale before I moved out of my parents house? You pondered as you drove in the now down pouring rain.
Why not move into the Sohma estate, you may ask. Truthfully, you were a rather distant relative of the family, but being so distant and just showing up out of nowhere five years ago, you didn’t feel too comfortable living there. Thus, you bought an apartment a little way’s down the road from the main estate. You were currently free loading at Shigure’s – not your idea, but his. Something about high school girls…You shrugged it off, it was his money not yours and besides, why on earth would you pass up free boarding and food?
You pulled into the driveway of Shigure Sohma’s house, parked your car and undid your seatbelt. You then sat there, just sat there; staring out the side window at the down pouring rain which was currently soaking and dampening everything in its path. Kind of like Akito…Ah yes, another lovely topic of discussion around the Sohma family these days; the head of the family, Akito Sohma. The man two years senior to you – the man you were in love with.
Akito Sohma was one of the complex people you would ever meet, or you assumed so anyways. You couldn’t really get much more complex than Akito. Truthfully, you had known the man since before five years ago. You had been brought up with him, although the term ‘childhood friend’ wouldn’t describe your relationship well at all. No, it was more like ‘mortal childhood enemy’, Akito hated you as a child you, you were too ‘annoying’ and you couldn’t stand him, because he would never talk to you and managed to ignore you all day. It was a downright irritating mannerism in itself, although you had dared not tell the future head of the Sohma family that. And to this day, you are still so glad that you had kept your mouth shut.
You shook your head in amusement as you remembered yourself as a little girl, you had quite a spirit. That spirit had left when you had moved away from Japan, to America, arriving in California, U.S.A. The rest of your life, you had grown up to be quiet and self-reserved, never having any real friends – all of your classmates had found you strange right up until the end of twelfth grade; not that it surprised you. You were a Sohma, the family was cursed. Everyone born into it was found strange; whether it was to do with the zodiac curse, or lack of social skills, you didn’t know. You supposed it was different for everyone in the family, although you did wish it could be cured. One real friend, that’s all I’m asking, you silently implored to the air as you got out of the car and walked up to the door of Shigure’s house.
“Oh! Sohma-san’s home!” You heard Tohru’s voice tell the rest of the household as footsteps pitter-pattered towards the door. A moment later the paper door slid open revealing a flour covered Tohru, who was baking something by the look of things.
“Hello Honda-san.” You greeted quietly, bowing minimally to her as you took off your shoes and hung your jacket in the small, brown coat closet.
“Hello!” Tohru’s chipper tone always made you smile. How the girl could smile like that all the time was a question, you decided, that would never be answered. You simply smiled lightly back at her and made a break for the bedroom you were currently sharing with her. You walked in and started to go through your suitcase, you wanted to change clothes. You hadn’t gotten the slightest bit wet in the rain, but you still wanted to change. You had odd quirks and you knew it. Ever since elementary school you had known that you weren’t normal.
Finally, you came out with a semi-formal pair of black dress pants and a burgundy shirt outlined with gold that you had bought during your trip to China. You locked the door and slowly changed into the outfit as you thought about Akito. He was always on your mind, but more so these days than the past few years when you had come to realize that you were in love with him. He didn’t know a thing about it, and neither did anyone else; you hadn’t told anyone for fear of them confirming your worst fears – rejection. In your brain you knew it was impossible for him to love you back, that’s what you had logically thought when you had first come to the conclusion of not telling him. But there was a gold sliver of hope that still burned in the deepest corners of your mind, which was currently smoldering because of your doubts and postulations.
You had now finished changing and lay on the queen sized bed. Tohru had insisted you share when you told her that you were planning on sleeping on the floor. That girl cared too much, you smiled, she was beyond lucky to be so normal. You sighed, you couldn’t take just thinking about it anymore, maybe you should just go and tell Akito how you felt and then at lest it would be over and done with – even if he did reject you. Which he would, no questions asked, your brain finished up for you. At least then you would know his answer, and maybe it wouldn’t bother you so much anymore…just maybe. Should I talk to Hatori? Maybe he could give me some advice on this, he is Akito’s doctor after all and he does see Akito more than anyone else. You convinced yourself over and over as you got up off of the bed and raced to the front door. It was only seven o’clock; maybe you could make it there before dark. You slipped on a pair of black penny loafers and called to Shigure telling him that you were going to the main house and would be back later. You didn’t wait for a reply as you dashed out the door, where you were lovingly soaked by the humongous downpour. It figured that you’d forgotten to grab a coat, well you’d be safe in the car…oh wait, my coat has my car keys, you realized as you started to sprint. I’ll just run; it won’t take me that long to get there.
*&*&*&*Five Minutes Later*&*&*&*
“Mental Note to self: take the extra five minutes and grab your keys next time.” You moaned as you were now almost soaking wet, “and coat.” You were only feet away from the main gate to the Sohma house as you panted and picked up the pace of your sprint slightly. You reached the tall solid gates as you pushed them open and walked in as Hatori peeked out of his office.
“Who’s there?” His hollow voice sounded as you waved to him.
“Hello Hatori-sensei!” You called as he looked at you in shock.
“What are you doing here and why are you soaking wet? You know you’ll catch a cold, right?” You shrugged as you walked underneath the overhand of the main building (where both Akito and Hatori resided). Once you were out of the rain, you figured you had best explain the situation at hand and state your case of being lazy and thus leaving without your coat (and your car keys).
“Well, for starters, I ran out of the house without my coat and my car keys were in my coat pocket and I was too lazy to go back in and get them. So I sprinted here – believe me I did NOT think it was raining that hard.” You told him grinning sheepishly and he looked at you as if you were insane.
“Well, come in, you need to get dried off.” Hatori replied grudgingly, obviously he thought you were a complete fool right about then. And you completely agreed with him. Odd wasn’t it?
“Thanks.” You followed him into his office as he grabbed you a towel. You looked around; the place and the décor hadn’t changed since the first time you had been in here. Not surprising, but as you had always said, everyone in the Sohma family had their little quirks.
“You never answered my question.” Hatori’s statement broke through your thoughts as you looked up at him.
“Which question?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I needed to ask your advice on something…and no it couldn’t wait until morning.” You added quickly as you watched Hatori’s mouth open and close.
“What is it?” His tone voiced the emotion commonly known as dread.
You took a deep breath as your brain forced you to go forward with your statement. There was no time to back out now, (Your full name) Sohma, you picked this path and you’re going to follow it. “I’m in love with Akito.” There. You admitted it to someone other than yourself. A sensation of regret and pride swam through you at an alarming pace and suddenly you felt so dreadful of Hatori’s reaction.
“Excuse me?” Well, it could have been worse, was your first thought as you sighed in mental relief. You watched Hatori’s face contort into a shapeless expression, the likes of which you had never seen before. His eyes held a mix of regret, pity, and dread – much like what you felt. “(Your first name)-chan, are you serious?” His expression gave way to a frown. You nodded as he looked at you coldly, and sternly. “I would advise against saying a thing to Akito. You will only be rejected, as Akito is Akito. He’s sick and his condition’s slowly getting worse. There’s no telling what he’d do if he received this kind of news – he’s unstable. You know that much (Your first name)-chan. So please don’t do anything about it, please. You’ll only end up with a broken heart and –”
You suddenly cut Hatori off; your arms’ flailing around in the air as you spoke in a severe tone. “It’s already broken! My brain told me the exact same thing, but I still believe I have to try. And if he rejects me at least I’ll know that it’s final and there’s nothing I can do about it. But if I don’t say anything my consciousness will keep hoping and driving me to the depths of insanity.” You paused a moment before you continued in a softer tone, “It’s better to have shattered hopes, than expectant dreams.” You closed your eyes as you and Hatori both became silent for a moment. It seemed as if time had stopped for a moment. To allow you, (Your full name) Sohma, to make your decision.
Hatori’s voice, then interrupted your silence, as cold and as stern as ever, “Well then, why ever are you asking me for advice, if you’ve already made up your mind?” Your eyelids fluttered open and your eyeballs widened. He was right! You had already made up your mind and without realizing it!
“Thank you.” You nodded your head, “May I go and see Akito right now? I’d like to do this as soon as possible so I don’t chicken out…if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t think that’s the best idea (Your first name)-chan. Wait until tomorrow and speculate a little more on your decision. Come back at three o’clock, if you’re sure you’re doing the right thing. Alright (Your first name)-chan?” Hatori put his hand over yours as he gave you an encouraging glance. What he was encouraging, you weren’t sure, but it helped more than he would ever know.
You bowed your head slightly, and then nodded, “Alright. You can expect me at three – make sure Akito-kun knows as well. I wouldn’t want to drop in unexpected.” With that you walked out into the pouring rain again as Hatori called out to you. You turned around as he threw you a black umbrella. You smiled lightly, “Thank you, Hatori-sensei!” As you waved and started to run down the sobbing wet path, which led to the gate.
You began to walk back as you heard Akito’s voice shout for Hatori. You shook your head, why you loved him, you would never understand. In all honesty you knew he was a selfish, egotistical nineteen-year-old, who cared only for his own gain and thought the family revolved around him. But somehow, in some overly twisted way, you knew he was so much more than that – not that anybody expected him to be more than he was. Maybe that was why he was the way he was. The way he was treated as he grew older and sicker, he was treated as a semi-invalid by the rest of the family, and they catered to his every need for fear of him acting up. Maybe if someone expected more of him, he’d be more; if only that came to pass.
If only, you sighed as you stopped thinking and walking for two seconds. You just listened to the rain pitter-patter onto the top of the umbrella. It was only then that you noticed the conditions outside. It was pitch-black, stormy and cold. Oh happy day. You still had quite a ways to go; you shuddered as a cold and strong wind passed through your shirt and pulled your umbrella backwards. I’d better hurry up and get home, you figured as you watched the rain pour down harder than it had been.
You were about three minutes from Shigure’s house when you noticed the shadow of a person coming towards you. Forward on the wet sidewalk they sauntered as your eyes widened and paranoia took over. They were coming to get you. No they aren’t, (your first name), grow up. Just walk quickly passed them, you can do it. You encouraged yourself as you walked faster and faster against the wind current (which meant your hair was blowing in every direction, including your face). You were a foot away from the person when you realized who it was and you immediately felt foolish for the second time that evening. I cannot make this a habit, you thought as you rolled your eyes at your own stupidity.
“(Your first name)-chan!” Yuki’s soft voice rang out in surprise as it interrupted the pitter-patter of the rain on your umbrella. “What are you doing out here so late? We thought you were spending the night at the main house.”
You smiled lightly at the boy’s concern; it was nice to have some one worried about you from time to time. “What on earth are you doing out here in this weather, Yuki-kun? And why would I be staying at the main house?”
“I was fixing something up[1] so the storm wouldn’t get at it.” His eyes twinkled mysteriously and you decided to drop the matter – why would it be any of your business anyways? “It’s getting late and girls shouldn’t be out this late at night and alone at that.” Yuki reprimanded you lightly, although his tone sounded more concerned than it did strict.
You shrugged, “Well I’m still alive right? I don’t think anyone besides you or I would have been sane enough to go out in this weather anyways. Hatori-sensei certainly thought I was crazy for walking to the main house in this weather.” You responded as you came into view of the house and you both rushed to the front door porch to get out of the rain.
“Wait, (your first name)-chan, I want to ask you something before we go in.” Yuki put a hand on your shoulder as you turned to him with a frown on your face.
“Can’t it wait? I’m wet, I’m cold and I can’t get sick – I have an appointment to make tomorrow.” You told him, as he shook his head slowly.
“Unless you want the whole house to know, then it cannot wait.”
“Alright, start talking.” You sighed as you clung to yourself. Correction: you clung to your wet clothes as water dripped from them in a frenzied fashion. Thus you froze and then just as you sneezed, Yuki started to speak.
“Why were you at the main house, (your first name)-chan? I know it wasn’t just a simple visit.” How did he know? Your mind voiced question after question about Yuki’s declarations.
“I don’t see how it should concern your business. How would you know that I didn’t just go there to visit Hatori-sensei?” You narrowed your eyes at him; this boy was too smart for his own good sometimes. It was no wonder he had made Student Council President last year and this year and he would probably make it next year as well.
“You left in a hurry and you didn’t even come back into grab your jacket.”
“Actually that had nothing to do with my visit, I was just being lazy and I underestimated the distance between here and the main house.” You grinned sheepishly, just as you had done to Hatori earlier that evening. “I wanted to visit Akito-kun.” There you had said it, and now you were hoping the rest of the house wouldn’t find out. You knew that Yuki was trustworthy, but like they say, walls have ears…and you had a hunch the walls were listening.
“Why?” Yuki’s tone was cold and distant now, not curious and calm as it had been two seconds before. There was something he was hiding, unfortunately you didn’t believe in prying. You thought as you looked up to the upstairs window and you could have sworn you saw someone duck. You rolled your eyes subconsciously as Yuki threw you a weird look.
“Did I mention we’re being watched? Probably by Shigure-san…” You muttered the last part to yourself, but Yuki caught it.
“Don’t change the subject. Why did you need to see Akito-kun, (your first name)-chan? Why?” Yuki’s look grew fiercer and his eyes burned with more fire by each passing second. Truthfully it was a scary sight to behold, the last time you saw him like this was the year before when you and him had run into Tohru greeting Akito at school.
“I need to discuss something with him, why are you so interested in what I would think to be my business, Yuki-kun?” You ground out; his prying was really starting to get on your nerves. You could handle the odd curious question here and there but a full out interrogation (and by someone a year or two younger than you at that) just might drive you to unleash your dark side on some poor, innocent passerby. Why oh why, couldn’t you have been the year of the cat Yuki? Then at least I’d have a good reason to kill you, you groaned mentally as you waited for his reaction.
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Yuki gave you one last look, his purple eyes sparkling with a hidden emotion. Something. You had seen it somewhere before, but currently your mind went blank when you racked it for information. Sighing, you gave up the present search and walked back inside only a minute after Yuki. As soon as you entered the house you saw Shigure starring up at you. You gave him a wierded out look as you took off your shoes and started up the stairs towards your and Tohru’s bedroom.
“(Your first name)-chan.” Shigure stated in a calm voice as you turned to look at him.
“Yes?” You asked him coolly, why was everyone interrogating you tonight? What was this, interrogate (your first name) night? It sure seemed that way. But, then again, things are not always as they appear.
“Why were you out so late? It’s almost eleven pm. You were gone for almost four hours.” Had you really been gone that long? Your talk with Hatori must have lasted longer than you had first realized. Ah well, at least you got to see Akito tomorrow. You banged your head against the banister as second thoughts began to rise and fall in your mind. What had you gotten yourself into? You can handle it, (your first name), you told yourself firmly as your confidence began to diminish – little by little. “(Your first name)-chan? Why are you banging your head against the banister? I’m sure it can’t be good for the banister.” Shigure joked; he had obviously noticed your mood and was trying to improve it. Well, it was nice to know he cared.
“Would you rather it be the wall?” You raised an eyebrow as you turned to walk back up the stairs hoping to avoid his questions all together.
“No, but, come on (your first name)-chan! Why were you out so late?” You sighed and rolled your eyes as you continued to climb the staircase. Step by step, ignoring Shigure and freezing, it was a lovely way to end the night. You reached the top of the stairs as you heard Shigure’s latest plea, “(Your first name)-chan!” It was more or less an order to stop ignoring him.